Updated: Dec 14, 2021
“This year I am no longer accepting apologies but I am willing to accept a change in behavior.”
In life there will always be times when we are affected by the actions of another person. When this happens, we often receive an apology. Often we say, "It's alright," or " It's okay," and by saying this we are allowing, accepting, and giving permission for the behavior to continue. When we say, "thank you," or "I accept your apology," we are forced to sit in our feelings rather than ignore them and so is the offender. There are many of us who feel that it is easier to brush off how we really feel than to express our discomfort in these situations. While this may initially seem like the best thing to do, what it really does is put us into a pattern of behavior; we continue the cycle of allowing them to overstep our emotional limits time and time again. By doing this we place ourselves in the position of victim. A simple "thank you" is enough. By taking a deep breath and calling upon the deepest parts of our spirit, we can usually find the right words to say and verbalize them in a way that lets the other person recognize the consequences of what they have done. Sometimes, we may announce we can’t accept the apology, but we are accepting a change in behavior. This will put the person on notice that you will not tolerate this cycle and that it is on them to change the pattern to be forgiven. If we can remember that our response to others is important, we can begin to realize that trust and forgiveness go hand in hand. And when we react in a way that engenders a greater amount of honesty and candor, we will establish a more positive and empowering way of being and interacting others. Be aware of your behaviors and your own discomfort with others behavior.